The art of dating is viewed very
differently in the Muslim community and strict rules apply where most families
are concerned. Some may have relaxed these rules a little as a result of living
within Western communities, but even in those cases, youngsters are still
expected to stick to the basics.
The first rule of Muslim dating is that
it is not intended to provide new experiences or fun for adolescents. It is
typically only accepted as a search of finding a suitable spouse.
Before dating with a prospective spouse,
young people have to gain the approval of their family. As a rule, both
families will meet and discuss everything from faith to income and having
children before approval to date is granted.
In many cases, families will suggest
possible partners, while others take up the opportunity of meeting other
Muslims through dating sites. Even then parents are often present during the
first few conversations.
Young couples are not allowed to meet up
without other people being present. Supervision is required at all times;
ensuring physical temptation is not given in to.
It is also necessary to be prepared for a
swift engagement, as Muslim rules forbid dating before marriage as such and
couples are likely to get engaged and then married within a very short time..
Physical temptation has to be avoided at
all times, and even families that are more relaxed with regards to the rules
and will allow couples to meet without chaperones after the first few dates
will insist on this.
It is also important to remember the age
regarded as appropriate for dating. For most Muslim girls and boys this means
no dating during High School. This can be difficult for them when they see
their Western peers dating at this age, but most of them will adhere to the
rules set by their parents.
Finding out just how exactly parents feel
about these rules and how much they expect their children to adhere to them is
most important. This is in particular the case when it comes to dating someone who
is not a Muslim.
Many families may be relaxed about other
rules, but could end up shunning their sons or daughters if they decide to date
a member of a different faith.
However strongly rooted in their
traditions parents are, one thing is for sure, and that is the fact that sex
before marriage is never acceptable under any circumstances. Becoming pregnant
before marriage would shame the whole family and have serious consequences.
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